Non-Speaking (at times) Autistic Makes Video

Recently I made a video about not being able to talk at times. I made the video when I was completely unable to talk. The reason for making the video was to show people, by which I was mostly assuming non-autistic people, what not-speaking might be and look like (not assuming all people are the same when they are not speaking). I was surprised by the number of views I got both on my blog and on the YouTube posting; close to 5000 and still coming in. I was originally thinking that it would be just “Oh yeah, that’s like me,” and not that much interest from Autistic people, but that was not the case. It was quite informative and affirming for me to see comments from Autistic people, a number of whom had not seen other videos or images of what not being able to speak at times is like for some of us.

Then, the original people I thought the video might reach, parents of Autistic children, are finding the video useful in thinking about what speech difficulties their family members might have. Some have asked for advice or asked me what helps. My own answer is “I wait until I can start talking again,” but it might be different for other people. I can type and do other things while I am not speaking, but some Autistics have reported that they can’t write, either, because they are not thinking in language-based ways. I often am thinking partly in images and partly in language so can continue to write.

On this particular day when I made the video, I was not able to talk because I was very tired from a long week, and also because my son was visiting his dad and so I had not had to talk all day, and often when no one is around and I don’t talk for a while it’s like “use it or lose it,” and I typically “lose it” until I can manage to speak again. Starting up again takes a great amount of energy. If I lose speech for a few seconds or minutes, it is easier to get started. On any given day I am going in and out of losing speech, but if I am writing, it’s not a big deal. If I am directing my choir, I might be at the piano and so not expected to suddenly start talking in the middle of playing! It’s the times when I am expected to say something and can’t that are troublesome!

A link to the entire blog entry and video is here.